Family
Marriage 101
Marriages often look well to the outside world, but may be splintering within the walls of their home. Couples are called to be teams; two people working with one another. Working to encourage, grow, and protect each other. Sometimes it means that one must put aside their own agenda to help or care the spouse. There is no equality when it comes to sickness, aging, job losses, or unexpected problems. Both spouses are affected!
Marriage commitments once meant forever; what has happened? They were not temporary arrangements. People didn’t just live together; they created a covenant with God. Through good or bad circumstances, people forged ahead and tried their best to keep going.
I have noticed in the recent 10+ years that people give themselves excuses to dissolve a marriage or be unfaithful. They spend weekends and evenings apart with other friends to the exclusion of their mate more frequently than they spend time together. They begin taking vacations separately saying it is necessary, because of schedules.
More and more children commute each week back and forth between homes. They have two sets of parents and may have 4 or more sets of grandparents. It becomes confusing for the children even though they have to adapt. Rules are different at each location; sometimes the kids are used as leverage. What’s up with that?
They say people are living longer and they can’t be tied down into a loveless marriage. Instead of focusing on the positive things that are working, they want out. Two people get married for a reason. Something united them whether it was a look, habit, or attitude.
So it is time to reconnect. Find common interests. Look for things that you love in the other person. Start dreaming together about how to resolve problems and create new goals. Lose weight together or walk every evening with one another. Go out for a simple cup of coffee. Talk about things in addition to the children and recall the things you loved about one another. Go to your spouse for company, not friends on Facebook. 
Listen and learn what you can do to make your mate #1. This means making PRIME TIME for each other; even if it is only for 1/2 hour. Take a short walk together either outside or through a mall. Go to church together. It’s an hour of time to hold hands and thank God for one another.
Be grateful for the things you’ve accomplished together. Raising children, paying off bills, wallpapering a room, or simply walking through some past crisis is an accomplishment. You can accomplish more things together. Work as one to resolve financial, housing, and/or personal issues.
It may mean simply cutting back and enjoying what you have, more than spending money. See a counselor, but keep your marriage together. You’ll be glad you did. Envision your life together as happy, unified, and healthy. Don’t run away from disagreements; learn to resolve them.
Finally, if your marriage has already dissolved into a divorce, take the time to reflect on what part you played in the division. We can all change ourselves for the better. Forgive yourself and the other person. Visit a counselor to analyze what really happened so you can avoid future relationship failures. Smile and move forward.
With those thoughts for the day, “Delight in Living”!
How not to clean your kitchen!
“Sugar!”
Saturday’s are supposed to be relaxed. Oh no, not this morning at our house. I was so proud of myself for getting up a half hour early. Made my bed, showered, and got the dog outside. 
Wow, so beautiful and bright outside; I was feeling the sun on my back. Dressed in my “grape” jacket and ready to get lots done, Rosy was on task and so we ran up the steps to the kitchen. I forgot to take off shoes. It’s a RULE to remove shoes. Oh oh. I will get catch by the house boss, namely, ME.
“Got Caught”
And I did get caught. I ate my breakfast and fed the dog. As I went to throw the top of the cereal box in the compactor, I noticed mud on the floor. It was dried up and in clumps. “Oh sugar!” (That is my favorite expression when I am mad!) I ended up vacuuming the dried mud, and washing that part of the tile floor.
I took off my shoes and cleaned them; then rinsed the sponge in the sink. Then that action ended up in cleaning, bleaching, and taking care of the sink. Sigh. I will pay the consequence.
Remembered at that moment that Rosy needed her heart worm medicine so I pulled it out of the foil wrap and also took out the peanut butter that I wrap around it. In doing so, the pill fell onto the floor and rolled under the refrigerator. It’s multi-sided. How did it do that?
If you have ever bought the medication for animals, it is expensive. I usually buy enough for one season. So now I am trying to retrieve a pill that I cannot see since I do not want to waste it.
Had to ran downstairs to my sewing room, get the yardstick, run back up and get down on my knees in order to sweep the stick under the base of the unit. I now have a pile of dust that has accumulated under the refrig! Still no pill to be found. I saw it go under. After a strategic approach of searching, I found it! YEAH! Wiped it up.
“Conveniences”
Back to get the hand vacuum to clean up the pile of dust I have just discovered. Thank goodness for this handy-dandy Black & Decker unit. It is always a big help and convenience in keeping things tidy. All this time Rosy is sitting patiently watching me from her bed. She has seen me take out the peanut butter and knows it is a treat.
Finally I give her the pill, put away the vacuum, the broom, collect the sponge, rags, and exit fast. My extra time has been dwindling away. The positive thing is that the kitchen is all nice and tidy again, Rosy did get her pill, and I am on my way.
I stopped the car at the mailbox to claim our Herald newspaper and headed out to the office. It wasn’t the way I had planned to start the day, but really pretty typical of most of us. Things just happen and we take care of them. I think that is partially why we go to school and raise families. Namely, to learn to adapt to the changes life throws our way.
Opening the plastic bag showed there was only one section of the paper. Stop. Call the Subscription department and request a new paper. Breath. And finally get to picking up the mornings messages and working.
Reality is that so many things transpire in the course of a day. I am thankful for the car that takes me places! I have a business to go to and a wonderful community . I feel good today, and I was able to get things done. The sun is trying to pop in on a winter day. Rosy continues to be a patient dog to care about! My husband’s friend is stopping by to visit with him while I am away. The Shaw Media center had a pleasant customer service representative. I am done at the office and heading on my way.
Hope you too have many blessings among your unexpected events today.
A Tale of Two
Two Shopping Tales
Two Shopping Tales that were so different! So it was an afternoon out of the office. After many tasks were already completed, I headed over to our local Walmart. I pulled in at the end of the aisle like I always do to park away from everyone. It is to protect my car and also to get more exercise.
As I got ready to exit the car, someone pulled in next to me and another in front of me. I had to chuckle! They had the same idea. Oh well so be it, the sun was out and it was a great day to be out shopping.
As I got out of my car, a young lady stepped out of hers. She smiled and I said “hello”! We began chatting about the great weather. While I paused to throw out some garbage, she kindly waited for me. By the time we walked the length of the parking lot, I had learned she was there to purchase a gift for her mother’s birthday.
I asked if she knew what she wanted to purchase and she shared her ideas with me. I guess they carried one of her mom’s favorite coffee brands there. Once during the course of my shopping journey I saw her again. We picked up our conversation as if we’d known each other a long time. She even showed me what she selected. A beautiful classy outfit and several large containers of coffee. Seemed like her day was being productive.
We had a pleasant chat about our community. We even shared where we worked and although much younger than I was, she had a parallel degree in theology. She had aspirations to continue along the same pathway. The conversation was short, but meaningful. We even exchanged names; hope to connect again.
Fast forward to the sewing department. Here I ran into another woman closer to my age who was also looking for sewing needles. We ended up helping one another find what we needed. I wished her a good day and moved along.
As I went to check out the lady from the sewing department was ahead of me. Her cart was loaded; she shops every two weeks. I could tell she was annoyed with a pokey checkout clerk. It was obvious he was new. She made the best of it and began to pack her own stuff.
From behind me another lady said, “he is pretty slow, but oh, so cute!” I chuckled and agreed. I wasn’t in a hurry so I patiently waited. A few more pleasantries among the three of us in line left smiles all around.
Later in the afternoon, I spoke with my daughter who had just finished a trip to Aldi’s. She lives in another community about an hour away. With only a few days left before returning to work after the birth of a baby, she took the time to get out.
Her plate is full with attending soccer games, wrestling meets, dance recitals, and transporting teenagers to part time jobs. Now with 7 children, there is always some responsibility to face.
She tells me she placed the baby, who was in his car seat, inside the cart since she could not safely attach him to the top. As she proceeded to do some shopping, there was a lady who kept watching her. With the baby in the basket, there wasn’t room for too many things, so you can understand how taken back she was when the lady made the comment. He was surrounded by groceries as if in a cocoon.
This older lady who had been studying her, now passed her and commented, “did you leave anything in this store for anyone else?” It was a rather chide comment. My daughter simply said there wasn’t that much in the cart, but it was strategically around the carrier.
Then the lady said that she hadn’t noticed the baby. “How old is your baby?” ”He’s 6 weeks old.” my daughter replied. ”Oh we didn’t take out such young ones in my day,” she responded. My daughter had no response. Silence as she proceeded to shop.
At the very end of the shopping expedition, the baby began to cry. Mommy settled him and gave him a pacifier. The woman then remarked, “You almost made it out of here.” And then she added, “Years ago, we just let our children cry, and they all turned out ok!” Obviously, she had no use for pacifiers!
Thank God this wasn’t my daughter’s first child. I am happy she was able to share her frustrations with me. The judgmental and passive-aggressive comments of this lady were apparently hurtful. They made me feel horrible, and I wasn’t even there.
My daughter said a prayer that she wouldn’t turn into a older crabby woman. I guess most of us have uttered a prayer like that. As a grandmother, past teacher, and counselor, I really try not to criticize. My own children taught me early on that kids will do what kids do, in spite of how we try to alter things.
At this point I too uttered a passing prayer. “Please forgive me if I say or do something to be critical. Especially to a young mother who is trying so hard to get it right!” It isn’t intentional folks.
We all try our best to do what we think is good. Our primary goal is to keep the kids stay safe and healthy. Being a parent in today’s world is not easy. Even having one or two children is rough. Demands are all around. Money, time crunches, family relationships, and community endeavors keep the most balanced people running. We all need to hear words of encouragement. Just like I had encountered lovely people today, I want that feeling for everyone. Let’s all try to be considerate.
So to all the lovely moms out there and women trying to be supportive, do have a great day!
The Consequence of Innocent Decisions
We all are enticed to the wrong things, but may start out with the right intentions. 
Many years ago, I recall cutting flowers from our garden. They were lovely, deep colored fuchsia peonies from our garden. Oh, how fragrant and beautiful!
I cut the stems, shook out the tiny ants, and placed them in fresh water. The vase was glass and a perfect size for the large bouquet. As I cleaned up, I placed them on the dryer and went outside to discard the excess foliage away.
An older neighbor living across from us waved me over to talk. He was a retired man standing with his Beagle puppy named Buttons. Since D. was talkative and always very friendly, I was there for a good ten minutes enjoying his stories and easy going manner. I was 25 year old at the time and regarded him with great respect. His stories were always interesting.
As I closed the overhead garage door and entered into our laundry room, I saw our young fawn and white Boxer lapping up the water, petals, and glass from the floor. He was always inquisitive and must have been drawn to the sweet smell. Panic set in as blood now colored the water and floor. How much had he digested? What was cut? I checked him out to see his jowl, tongue, and paws were cut and promptly called the vet.
I did not have a car available and we lived many miles from the Veterinary Hospital we used for our animals care. The doctor told me to soak bread in milk and give it to him. No problem, he gratefully ate the new food voraciously like only a big young dog would do. To him it was a new treat. I am glad to say that all turned out well. His mouth healed rapidly and apparently he had not digested any glass.
Like Lord, (Lord of Regal Domain), we are all tempted by the wrong things. Another pet we had went to sniff a railroad tie and was bite in the eye by a swarm of wasps. That was also a case of learning for the dog and for us. As kids, it might be a toy we want to own. The opportunity to “borrow” (steal) it from a friend makes it ours. It might be the fun of “joy riding” with friends to find that a speeding ticket is being handed to us or that a tree is in our pathway.
Natural consequences often teach us things we don’t want to learn. We begin to filter our friends this way. We learn what jobs are not the best for us. We also learn that our parents, teacher, or grandparents may be smarter than we thought. We learn what is unsafe for us to do. We make decisions that teach us how to live.
Lord didn’t break anymore vases in his 12 years of life, but his life was threatened at other times. His other adventures will no doubt show up in this blog. It took us years to anticipate the dangers around and try to help him avoid them. He did leave us with many memories and life lessons. This incident taught me to be uneasy of things that looked safer, better, or nicer than they appeared.
Minor decisions made with thought may keep us safer. They may keep us from having more work to do in the future. They may keep you healthier and bring you good fortune. Thinking and planning out a path of action are worth their weight in gold. If we think before we act and process the possible outcomes before they become a reality, it may keep us safer.
Blessings on the decisions you need to make this weekend. Help your impulsive friends think things through. Teach children the risks associated with playing sports and the proper training they need. Let’s all be an advocate for making this world safer.
3 Ways to Celebrate Life
1. Integrate family fun into your day. Today was the day to carve pumpkins. A little ingenuity and imagination got us all geared up for the adventure. Here two granddaughters took time for a hug while we 
continued to clean out the pumpkins. The house was covered in orange cobwebs and Halloween fun was in the air. Sometimes playing is good for the soul and I joined in to create a pumpkin for the grandbaby due on Christmas Eve. So here are
the results. The tiny one on the top end is for the baby. It is of course simple, because Grandma made it!
#2. Learn as you go. In the midst of preparing for this project, I also have to thank the two older kids for helping me brush up with my computer skills. They are techno savvy indeed. They are patient and good teachers. Thank you Mayra and Edwin!
#3. Develop memories for the young and the old by bridging activities and conversations. There are so many skills to learn in life from the art of pumpkin carving to computer science. Fun times are also valuable and family time often revolves around Holidays. It was great to listen to the conversations with the kids ranging from 5 up to 23! We didn’t discuss politics or school or resolve any issues, but I hope they remember this as one of the “good old times” in years to come.
I brought home my other pumpkin creation for our home. And here it is. 
I bought it because it was supposed to have special black seeds inside, and guess what? It did! So these were being roasted when I left. I will have to get the run down on how they tasted. Have fun–enjoy your families. Celebrate Life!
Great Seeds- A great future!
A day at the local pumpkin farm got me energized. It was a crisp fall day and I was blessed to be with 2 of the 8 
Grandchildren and their parents. It is so nice to be included in family outings and I hope I get to go back next year. Hint, hint! This was the first Pumpkin Patch trip for the baby.
So many traditions are created with firsts. The first of each holiday, the first time crawling, or the first Birthday. I was happy to go pick my first pumpkin. It was a hard decision to decide on the size and the color. Pumpkins were black, white or orange. Naturally I picked a conventional orange, medium sized pumpkin. I am thinking I will have plenty of fun either painting or creatively decorating it. All those seeds will make tasty snacks for the family to enjoy too. Seeds, yes, seeds are the most fun to plant and the harvest can be the best yet.
What seeds are you planting in your life? Are you taking steps to be more educated? 
Have you traveled? Do you want a new job? Are you exercising or literally planting a garden?
One year we planted carrots in the Fall under a pile of mulch and by spring we had the tastiest and best carrots ever that had grown all winter and spouted through the nest of clippings into green topped plants. It was a test to see if we could do that and it worked. Perhaps you want to “test out” your education by applying what you learned to a new job. Or your traveling knowledge may help you write that book you have always wanted to tackle. Start planting the seeds you’ll need.
This was one of the fields of pumpkins we had to pick from this past weekend. 
With all those pumpkin seeds, many more can be planted. I invite you to:
#1. Spend some time with your family and plant seeds for a harvest of continuing fun. Have dinner together or simply take a walk.
#2. Plant the seeds of your favorite plants this winter so you’ll have new plantings and fun by next spring. A windowsill filled with clippings to root also make the winter past by quickly.
#3. Think about the things you need to do now that will be able to mature in the future. That is think of new goals and the steps to reach them.
#4. Talk to people in your family, neighborhood, and community to see if they could use your expertise or maybe you could use theirs.
Hope your Monday fairs out well and that your week is wonderful.