Leadership can be hard! I was reading an article in *Scientific American Mind about a student from Brown University who in 1984 was studying in Israel. He and two friends were walking while on a camping trip and he was ahead of them. Suddenly he was minus a foot! He stepped on a land mine. Leadership can be hard and in this case, it really was painful! It takes stamina and a great mindset to move forward when accidents happen. Or when one loses money on a business idea it can be difficult to bounce back.
A few thoughts came to me as I read this article. The first was that stepping out ahead of the others is a daring adventure. Leaders put themselves in a position of being risk takers. Secondly, when confronted with adversity, people are forced to be resilient and push themselves to move forward, even if they think they cannot. Thirdly, good leadership is always available to find through referrals and mentors.
If you are an active business owner, you are often we are watching high achievers in business. High achievers who risk putting their own reputation and safety out there for others to follow. And we do follow them, because we don’t want to reinvent the wheel. We see how someone has accomplished what we are striving to do and we try to duplicate the format. We look at the system that has propelled them forward and we go to them for success.
Unfortunately, we don’t see all the obstacles they’ve endured. When I watch the Olympics, one of the best parts of it for me is hearing the stories of how the athletes have come to succeed. Quite often they have endured many injuries, personal set backs, or losses. It is great to hear their interviews. Most of the time they take responsibility for the risks they take and move ahead. They do not give up. They get up over and over again.
I am watching a grandson now who is an excellent soccer player and wrestler. In a tournament game, he injured his ACL, LCL, and Meniscus. These are major injuries that needed surgery. He presented to a surgery center that works with a professional team in Chicago to have the repairs. He will be undergoing 8 months plus of therapy to get back into the sport of soccer that he loves. The injury has temporarily changed his pathway to going into college sports for the next year. It has not deterred him, but strengthened his resolve to move forward.
As the author of Erasing Adversity, I say that adversity can make us stronger. It isn’t the experience of success or failure that makes us; it is what we take from the experience that gives us personality and value. Experience alone can sour people, but keeping a healthy mindset and determinations to reach a goal is the secret.
It amazes me how well some people are able to overcome problems. As a counselor and educator I’ve learned not only through my own experiences, but vicariously from other people. The ability to focus on one thing at a time helps. We need to keep things simple. The next time you are feeling stuck or frustrated, take a simple task and complete it. Maybe it’s cleaning out the dishwasher or sweeping the garage floor. Do it and finish the project. A simple task completed well will help you break the cycle of inaction. Create your own healthy system made our of habits to conquer a problem head on!
Another thing that one can do to be successful is to engage with others. Social isolation is unhealthy. Although not everyone is Mr. or Mrs. Congeniality, having purposeful tasks and relationships compel us to be better. We tend to dress the part, take responsibility and smile more when things are going well, but good leadership is open, humble, and honest. We learn to trust people and socialize. In doing so we contribute to the lives of other people; we volunteer; we share and give away our talents.
*Special Collectors Edition Scientific American Mind Spring 2018
The Reality of Business can be so different than what we perceive to be the truth. Are the entrepreneur’s you deal with providing the service you need? Where is the evidence of a good business deal? Are the people you represent honest? Are you giving the quality service or product follow up that your customers expect?
So do eggs really grow in a pot? Of course not. It’s fake news. Even though we can see by this photograph and might like to think it is a quick way to reproduce eggs, obviously this is not the case. The reality of a good egg comes from a healthy chicken! And eggs are edible, not plastic!
So often the things we would like to be as a reality are not so. This goes for the business we would like to have or the people we would like to meet. That is not to say that we can’t get that particularly client or that the situation is not one we can claim, but it might mean we have to take a different approach from what we are currently doing.
With all the help online there are many businesses that give more than they promise. They do so with delight and with the hope of truly being a reputable and excellent business. Others seem to promise so much and give back so little in return for your money or time. The trick is to be able to discern the good from the bad.
Some of the best businesses have to prove their worth. As an Affiliate to Amazon (just click on any of their photos on these pages) I have come to find their services worthwhile. I order things that seem to have disappeared from the marketplace. I can find electronics, foods, and just about every toy there is around. In this time of online services, they have done well to fill orders quickly.
Just this last week I got a virus trying to get a book thru a U-Tube Advertisement. I was really annoyed and decided that if the local Barnes & Noble did not have the books I want, I’d use Amazon hereafter. They are quick, dependable, and deliver as promised. So I guess we all have to figure out where reality service plays out.
And that goes for who shows up, too. I had a business meeting this morning and the person forgot to show up or connect with me about their intentions. Do you think I will or should promote or waste more time with this connection? Even though I have known this business person for many years, I had personally stopped using their services, because of other reasons. Guess the evidence of good business shows up in many ways!
Take a reality check on the businesses you use and endorse. Note where you shop and who you connect with on a regular basis. This one step may put you on the escalator of success.
Have a great week!
The Pitfalls of Faulty Thinking affect many of us. Welcome to Mini Miracles from Minor Moments. It’s the minor moments in life that allow us to make giant leaps forward. It’s the minor moments in a conversation with a friend that opens up clarity and insight for you. It’s those minor moments that bring us joy and mini miracles in our lives.
Welcome to Podcast #85 on the Pitfalls of Faulty Thinking and how these thoughts affect all of us. This is your Host Linda Gullo and my Co Host, Kate Halma. “Good morning Kate!”
“Good morning Linda.
Today we are going to open the can of worms called Faulty Thinking. It is a large one so let’s jump in. Kate starts in with sharing a story about a friend from her wellness business. It was all about a misperception and how not having all the facts created faulty thinking. Listen and enjoy this ongoing conversation as Kate and Linda discuss faulty thinking. Listen to their ongoing stories and enjoy them.
Here are the two quotes the ladies mentioned:
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” (William Shakespeare)
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” (Henry Ford)
Check out the book, The Itchy Soul by El Edwards that Linda was reading. It is available through our Affiliate link here at Amazon.
Powerhouse phrases to help you grow can be a bigger part of your life. Today Linda Gullo and Kate Halma discuss sources of energy, strength, and encouragement.
“You can do it!” “That’s awesome!” “You’re the best!” “Good job!” “I appreciate you!” “Count on ME!”
Linda tells the story of a lady she volunteered with at a local resale shop many years ago. The lady who was a mother of many was also a mother for her that day. She mentored for Linda in a powerful way. Check out the story and how she reminded Linda to “hold her head up high.” She encouraged her to put things in perspective. Her words became powerful words that still resonate. People can give us encouragement in when and how they say things to us.
Kate and Linda encourage everyone to think about the value in words. One of the messages that Kate reminded us to follow is “Don’t own that!” Listen to this podcast and see just what she was referencing.
Kate also referred to the inspirational sayings that both thrive on as shown in this photo. This is just one of 3 doors at Delight in Living, Ltd. that help clients and patients to step through the difficult and challenging times in life.
Louise Hay who created Hay House Publications offered Affirmation cards that gave people powerful and positive messages. Those cards which are still available at bookstores and on line (https://www.hayhouse.com) were encouraging.
Linda quotes Isaish 40:30– “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (NIV). Verses from the Bible and people of fame often leave us with wisdom in their words.
Finally Kate shares “nothing is impossible; the word itself says I’m possible!”
Put you best foot forward, “just one step may put you on the escalator of success!” Thanks and have a great day!
Join the ladies in 2 week when they will discuss, “EMBRACING SAD MOMENTS” We hope you enjoy these podcasts. Please let us know by signing in for updates and to encourage us too. We’d love hearing from you.
Linda can be reached at 815-459-5161 most days of at firstname.lastname@example.org
What works is really very simple in accomplishing goals. The secret of making worthwhile goals is not a secret at all. It took me by surprise that just a few moments of repeating habits is all it takes to accomplish a big task. The answer comes from scripture! It is the simplicity that comes through the many AA programs. We must focus on small steps and do them everyday. One day at a time has been my mantra since 1980 when my parents were both very ill. I learned to plan each day as it arrived and with the circumstances that were presented to me. It helps us get through tough times when we don’t think in “long stretches.”
Many coaches will tell us to use the word SMART to help us in accomplishing what we set out to do. S is to be specific with our resolutions and intentions. M stands for something measurable. For example if you want to lose weight and watch your sugar levels, you might decide to lose 10 pounds by walking 2 miles a day, and stay off sugar. You can measure your success in terms of energy, inches lost, and seeing your sugar levels drop. M stands for a goal that holds meaning. What meaning is behind your goal. Is it for confidence, for health or to learn? A stands for something to achieve. What do you want to achieve? Is is to learn to drive a car? Do you want to earn more money? R is for realistic. If you work a night job, it may not be realistic to pay for a health club membership. Or it may mean finding one that is open 24 hours to accommodate your needs? All programs tell us to write things down. Make them visible for yourself. We are told not to hide the goals, but to review them daily. Write down the why’s behind each one. T is for time. Make what you do timely. Put your written goals near the computer you use each day. Make a screen shot of them for your phone. Post them in your daily appointment book. Make them visible to yourself!
Just this week I listened to Brendon Burchard and he says to divide our goals into themes. Productivity, Physiology, Psychology and Persuasive were the 4 themes. He had us focus on the specific areas were we wanted to be productive. Maybe it is to find a new job. Maybe we want to meet more people. He discussed setting health goals and ways to attain them in physiology. What do I want my body to look like or feel like in the next 3 months. Do I want to improve my diet or eat on a better schedule? In psychology, he addressed doing things with intention. Perhaps you want to continue learning. If that is the case, will you take a class? Or are you committing to reading a new book every week? Is that possible? Maybe you have little time to read and decide to find 15 minutes every evening to begin a new reading habit? In the area of Persuasiveness, he reminded us to ask others for what they need and to learn what we need.
Over the years I have followed many strategies for attaining Goals. Some worked well and others not so well. So here is what I came up with after studying Michael Hyatt, Success Magazine, Brendon Burchard, Mel Robbins, and trying them all. I found my own system. You can find yours too. Pick and choose what works well for you.
Linda’s own mix and match system includes:
#1. Create your own guidelines by writing them down. Decide on time slots in your regular schedule to add in or replace habits. Try things, change them for success, and don’t be afraid to rework what you do.
#2. Decide 3-4 areas to focus to work on for the year and decide to break down the year into quarters. Each quarter naturally creates a space and time frame to work on each. Just 2 or 3 goals may make it possible to really attain them. Fewer things accomplished well is excellent.
#3. Create a support system that will make each goal doable and fun. ei. I plan to walk to work this Spring in order to get exercise. It’s easy and doable. The weather will be on my side. It will be fun! Once I begin I can carry it through the rest of the year with ease.
#4. Write down the why for each goal. ei. I want to put aside “x” number of dollars every week to buy a bike by June 1st. I want to be more efficient so that I have more time to walk. KNOW YOUR WHY!
#5. Dump all your doubts and talk with someone about how to do this. If people used counselors for nothing more than being successful in accomplishment their goals, they would be so happy!
#6. Make it simple and doable by preparing. Plan each day and review your plans the night before. Gather what you will need ahead of time. ei. Packing you gym clothes into the car. Preparing your lunch. Making a list of the people you need to call the next day. Prepare.
This takes me to the summary of making goals work. Whatever you decide to do or whatever habits you are trying to break and replace, take one step each day. If you are quitting the habit of drinking wine, then decide each day to avoid wine. If you are convinced you need exercise, get up and select what you will do that day. ei. I will walk around the mall 6 times, or I will go to the YMCA for a swim today. Make it simple and doable. Make yourself accountable to a friend. Be competitive with yourself.
Good luck. Take the one step that will put you on the escalator of success! (Linda’s Own)
A calendar is designed as a way for us to keep order in our lives. Without the daily numbering system and the change in the days into weeks and weeks into months, we’d have no way to track ourselves. I thought about that this morning as I was making out a check to pay a bill. Once again the filing system is set up for the monthly bills. It is a way of tracking what we spend and when we spend money.
When I was at Loyola’s School of Ministry in New Orleans, I remember being encouraged to let the process of taking things in order work for me. I was younger and wanted things done quickly. I am not sure I have changed completely, but I do understand the wisdom in order and time. We were to read, follow a syllabus, and do the lessons on a schedule according to the academic calendar provided. By the end of the term, ideas and concepts fell into place. We were being taught not only content, but a way of learning that would be of value forever.
Ever since that time, those words “let the process work for you” have helped me through daily events. Stop, look, and proceed with caution. When I see a long term goal or a far away date, I reflect on the advantage of using the process set in place work for me, not against me. Applying this principle has been a big help. I will mark my calendar clearly so I can track how I am advancing.
Sometimes cutting time or skipping steps toward what we see as an advantage isn’t good. It is good to make the most of minor moments and build on them. Learning to read instructions is also a process that may protect us from harm. We are taught to read for a reason. Whether it is a warning on a gasoline pump or instructions for using a lawnmower, directions keep us safe.
Directions help us fill out our tax papers and pay our bills. Steps on assembling a chair insure it will withstand a heavy person or a child jumping on it. Reading and processing goes beyond directions and calendars, but the time and the strategies of monitoring our progress forward is noteworthy. It is important that we do not ignore the smallest of details, for they may insure safety and be teaching us some skill we’ll need in the future.
Skills that we practice daily help us to learn them. We gain confidence and can aid other people when we know our crafts and professions well. We need to buoy up our vocabularies, engage with other people verbally everyday, and write meaningful notes to each other. Start the month of January off to a good practice of reading, writing, and tracking your progress. Note the smallest steps toward staying well. Mark off the money you have saved with coupons or cutting back. Note your time in prayer. Use the calendar as a guide and friend in pursuing your New Year Goals. Have a great New Year 2018.
Remember that “one step may put you on the escalator of success!”
List Making is NOT Overrated!
So do you make lists? Why or why not? How do you track appointments, diet, work, and get things done? Is your phone a help or hindrance?
Many of my friends and colleagues have gone back to using a pad of paper and an appointment book. The act of writing things down helps our memory to stay sharp. Put the visual aspect of looking at our goals, appointments, and plans is necessary to stay on top of things.
Running a business, caring for the home, or driving a car all require focus and timely chores. We have calls to make, files to put away, and end of year projects at the office. At home there is cleaning, laundry, beds to be made for guests, and foods to prepare. Driving a car means keeping it in good shape and making sure it is filled with gas. If you have pets and of course, I do have Rosy, we are responsible for feedings and caring for them. Today she has an appointment for a nail trim.
List making is one of the best things I do for myself. It keeps me on task and removes clutter from my mind. I live by Mel Robbin’s 5 Second Rule of 5,4,3,2,1-JUST DO IT for many things. For those items that take more time and thought, I make a list. Currently I have a list of things to remember for the Holiday Preparation. The sequence of things I have to defrost, bake, or make according to each day.
As we enter into the week of Christmas and Holiday Events, may your lists serve you well. Enjoy each day as fully as you can and may you find peace!
By mid January, Merriment will have slowed down. We will all be in a different mind frame and looking ahead to more work, travel, or exercises. Are you ready for that change? Meantime, gaiety and fun is all around and I am taking it in. I love the colors, the music, the tinsel, and the smell of freshly cut evergreen boughs around!
I have yet to go into a floral shop to smell the life giving earthy fragrances given off my flowers and plants of all kinds. It is a gift to myself that I do around this time of the year. For the most part, the gifts are purchased, made, or in some cases mailed out to family and friends. The focus in the next week will be to do baking and preparing the house for company. There is the usual cleaning, pulling out the serving trays, and phone calls to friends who are unable to get out.
Advent has been preparing us the the arrival of Jesus. We have a tradition of having a Black Forest Cake with Whipped Creme for His Birthday Cake. It began when our children were young and continues to be a favorite. Like so many of the things we do, traditions bind us together and stretch from one generation to another. Along the way new ideas and practices grow. Sometimes they just happen and other times, they develop with intentionality.
Take this concept of tradition into your business or job. What are you doing to make your work fruitful and joy filled? Are you able to laugh and engage with other people? Are you happy with the disposition you sew? I have been thinking of the many options we turn away from when they could be so profitable to myself and others. How about you? What have you wanted to gift yourself? Is it time away from the hustle and bustle? Is it a mid day break with a walk around the outside of your work place?
I welcome your thoughts as I begin preparing the schedule for upcoming workshops. If you have ideas for one day workshops, please let me know. I hope you’ll be checking to our website here for them. They will be so worthwhile!
Let the many minor moments bless you with revelations and enjoyment.
Planning Ahead is Really Worth the Effort. Some of these things I have learned firsthand and want to offer them to you.
- Succession Planning is a must for businesses. A sudden death leaves a business in shambles under the best of circumstances and can leave everyone it serves in a state of need without help.
- Disability Insurance. An accident incapacitates the breadwinner in a family. Where does the money come from as things begin to stabilize? It can be months if not years until things go back to “normal.” Small disability insurance policies are a blessing. I can attest to this firsthand.
- Getting things done in advance. The power goes out and the ability to print out a much needed assignment or transaction is due with the hour. Now what? Just in the recent week a large store had their credit card system go down and the whole store was in jeopardy of much needed sales. Planning ahead is wise and backups are necessary.
- A simple backup is a lifesaver or business saver! Although everyone is saving things virtually, have things on backup systems or printed out is a good plan.
- Alternative speakers or plans can become a placeholder. Collaborating with others becomes a blessing when suddenly an airline cancellation postpones a speaker. Having a variety of acquaintances with skills around us is often a blessing. And sometimes it is a glitch that lets another person come forward to be known.
- Clean as you go. What I mean by this is that when you replace an article, a file, or a list at the office, discard the old one so that it isn’t mistaken for the up-to-date copy. You’ll save time and mistakes won’t happen as frequently. Shred old documents and tidy up before you leave the office or work space.
Have a great weekend. See you next week. Let the minor moments in your life lead you up the escalator of success.
Are you present and focusing on an agenda? Your child is calling you to come play with them. Are you able to shut down and focus on the short playtime? I always found it hard to stop doing one thing and focus on another, but I am learning that it is not only healthy, but also so fulfilling to do one thing at a time.
I literally just shut down a CD I was listening to and decided to write this blog. I had been writing one every day for over 18 months, but in the past 6 months, my time and attention has gone to establishing care for people over the phone and online. I do well when I can concentrate on one task. I don’t misplace files or forget details. I used to do a dozen things at the same time. This was particularly true at home as a mom, but I also had to do that with children and chores. Multitasking seemed natural.
As the year winds down, I am staying present and focusing on one thing at a time. I have a better retention of what has transpired and feel more accomplished as well. I am going to carry this effort forth into 2018.
How are you focusing these days? Are you feeling scattered? Perhaps you are lonely and not connected? Many of my friends are retired and free to glide through a schedule of their own, and even though I have my own business and can schedule in special events, I am being careful about not committing to too much outside of this office. For many years I used my extra energy in that way, but now it is more intentionally directed.
I watch Rosy and notice that she will run to her kitchen pillow when I walk in with groceries. Our dog Lord used to do that too. He’d perch himself at the top of the staircase and have a view of the whole family room and french doors. I think dogs know when to separate themselves when things get too crazy. They aren’t in the way and still they have control.
When we are with other people, we want them to be focused on what we are saying. We have all had the experience where we are talking and the other person either blanks out or answers inappropriately. It is all too obvious that they are not present nor focusing on our interaction.
As we flow into the Advent Season and all the merriment around us, do take the time to be cordial and present. Worry less about the gifts and the peripheral decorations. Focus on the people you are talking with and listen. You’ll feel contentment and pride.
Look forward to our Podcast later this week when Kate Halma joins me on using “Domestic Arts”. It should be a down-to-earth look at some wholesome, old-fashioned, and needed skills. We don’t want to lose them!
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