Counseling care can be the most awesome thing you have ever done. Linda Gullo has been in practice at Delight in Living, Ltd. for over 20 years. Here she offers a few thoughts on why people seek out counseling.
Our mental health and the way we think about things makes all the difference in the world. Whether it is resolving a problem, having faulty thinking, or just plain old grieving, counseling is a great avenue to pursue. In a world where people search for quick fixes and self medicate or just try to ignore the signs and symptoms of loneliness, counseling can help immensely.
This simple 11 minute podcast will hopefully inspire and help you find the care you need. Let the one step place you on the escalator of success.
Some people are so good at navigating the path they are on. They seem to know what roadblocks are ahead of them or what to expect along the way. An example I’ll share is about a family based business that was well structured and set up during the 2nd World War. Sales rallied because of government contracts at that time and their excellent President rallied his workers with him. He continued to know who his target audience was and to build a healthy clientele for the next twenty years. Eventually the man sold his business to a partner and then sold off property that was owned for storage over the years following. He also planned well for his family and sought a more relaxed lifestyle for himself and his wife. He lived well and enjoyed reading in his final years.
Finding a new path and purpose!
It dawned on me that this is not the case for so many people. Layoffs, job changes, health challenges and family disruptions cause many people to set up franchises or seek other lines of work. Their path, although once thoughtfully set into play, just seem to tumble and fall apart. Every day is a search and rescue existence to make money, pay bills, and stay well. How does one earn money? How does one pay for medical issues? Is one able to drive or access food, shelter, and other people with ease?
Taking time to plan is good. It can be a series of steps set into place. Perhaps putting aside a small amount of money monthly. It may include adding to ones education or skill set. It may mean relocating to a smaller home, eliminating costs, or reversing plans that just don’t add up for a long term resolution. Maybe it is getting involved with other people and building new relationships. Design the path you want to pursue and then it will begin to develop naturally.
In talking to a wealth management person I learned that many people are not able to go to the next level of life because they have failed to plan beyond the present. If it is one thing I have learned from being a psychotherapist, it is that we need to have a purpose. That purpose may change as we age. We may devote more time to new hobby, travel the world, or volunteer teaching a second language. It may mean moving to a new area to be in touch with family so one can be in a more metropolitan area. Or even moving to a smaller country setting and starting a garden.
One thing to keep in mind in pursuing changes is to think things out well. What is the long term focus for making the changes. Is it to save money? Is it to be with more people you love? Is it to have a place to run your new business or hobby?
So today’s simple exercise is to: #1. Get outside your comfort zone. Make new friends and connect with older ones. Start with just one. #2. Decide on something you want to do and seek information on doing it. #3. Listen to those around you and see how you might benefit from their experience.
Have a great day and take that one step forward, it may put you on the escalator of success!
Linda is an Educator, Counselor, and Catalyst that will help you inspire you to live your life the best possible.
I watch Rosy as she navigates through the day showing me there is a way to find contentment. She has slowed a bit, but just long enough to observe what I am doing before she charges up the stairs behind me. She waits to see if I am running back down them again or staying there. She is the clue to the first way to spell contentment. #1. Know what it is you really want to accomplish before expending the energy to do so!
Watching efficient and productive people shows us the second way to find contentment. It is simple. People who accomplish a lot of work have learned how to prioritize and do it well. They perform one task at a time and finish it. Then they sit back for the moment to appraise the situation and salute themselves for a job well done.
The third way to find contentment is to stay active and show up to the events that mean a lot to you. These may be personal or business related. Contentment comes from appreciating the good things in life. Gratitude and a spirit of recognizing how others have touched your life is by taking an active part in their activities. It is recognizing how others have succeeded. We need to stay joy-filled and happy with the accomplishments of those around us.
The next time you feel frustrated or discontent with with yourself, ask “why am I dissatisfied?” Perhaps it is a restless feeling for something you have yet to achieve. Perhaps it is because you have not reached out to those around you. Do you need a break from your responsibilities? Maybe it is time to sit back and watch like Rosy often does to just reevaluate if it is worth the effort to run up those stairs again!
Linda is a Counselor, Educator, and Catalyst. She helps people navigate through the tough times and achieve their dreams. This summer she is offering one-on-one tutoring for students. She’ll help them learn to organize and focus. In the Fall, when it is time to return to school, they will hopefully be more engaged having practiced a few basic skills.
Counselors are one of the best hidden secrets around town. This is a first in a series of how we can address issues that tamper with our happiness. This short and impromptu conversation Linda shares with you can help you find meaning and resolve problems along the way. (This is not a script of the podcast, but simply an overview.)
Linda discusses some of the stigma or concerns that you may think about. Issues that are keeping you from being happier can be addressed and resolved. There may be resolution that is quickly resolved by simply discussing a few topics with a professional. One may be grieving from a major loss in your life. You may be simply lacking a focus due to stress. It is good to have a counselor in your rolodex that can be easily contacted as you need one. It is like having a mechanic to call when your car doesn’t start. We take better care of our pets than we do taking care of our mental health.
Although faulty thinking accumulates over time , one can step away and reclaim thinking for themselves. We can filter out what doesn’t reflect our values and find happiness. It floods back into our lives with a few minor adjustments that come to our attention.
Communication is an ongoing process. We need to feel comfortable with ourselves to enjoy life fully. Although we use words, we aren’t communicating what we really need or want. The people around us are also so involved in their own lives that they do not have the skills or time to reach out and help you resolve problems.
Stay tuned for the next Podcast in a week on the potential goodness that arises and some of the topics you are able to bring forward.
Stop waiting and begin creating the life you want. Don’t keep hidden helpers (namely Couselors) away. Take the first step forward and put yourself on the escalator of success. Try counseling. Get the support and joy you richly deserve.
Finding an ideal mentor can be around the corner. Often they seem bigger than life and unreal in many ways. Unlike Snoopy, Leprechauns, the Easter Bunny, or Santa, mentors are not whimsical. Mentors are usually real people or those who have died. They have had a successful track record. They set an example for us and taught us moral and excellent principles to live by. They were natural teachers for us and gave us inspiration. Mentors give us shortcuts and a proven way to exceed beyond limits.
In business we are always looking for the next opportunity, the next connection, and chances to connect with active and engaged people. Do you have a mentor? Where have you looked for one? Do you scour the neighborhood or look for online for connections? Do you literally go from one activity to another? Do you meet people for lunch? Is there a business you’d like to mimic?
I have found that a mentor can come in any size or age. There have been many for me along life’s journey. I was lucky to have a great professor who mentored me into the teaching profession. She was confident, knowledgeable, and loved keeping children safe and spirited. Her openness to teach, exemplify, and share stories still resonate. She even had a television presence and taught us presentation skills that helped her.
I was fortunate to have a great Spiritual Director when my children were teenagers. She had studied the material I was learning. She had raised her family and been a student at the same time. She was non judgmental and supportive. Her values and sense of humor was one that I needed. She died several years ago. I was blessed to have her in my life as a mentor.
Two women with large families set examples and helped me through the adventure of raising children. I needed these people, because my own mother had died when my children were babies. Both were available and I didn’t even realize their impact until years later. They taught me the concept of being flexible and how to flow with changes.
As I journeyed through my teaching and counseling career, I found the best mentors were actually children, teenagers, and people willing to work through difficult moments. Their attitude and gratitude to improve helped me to learn. In some cases, they taught me to play again. Their ability to adapt to technology with ease and fearlessness has encouraged me to podcast and learn software programs. Children attempt lots of sports, games, and try things without reservation. Their openness to trusting others and enjoying life is contagious. Adults who have failed develop a resilience that is more than admirable.
Take the first step forward and begin looking to people around you. Perhaps there are several men or women in your past that led you to this point in time. Put yourself on the escalator of success in helping others.
Who is the wellness warrior? Why of course, I am thinking about our minds and how we can be the best version of ourselves. Thinking things through and making the minute-by-minute decisions makes us all wellness warriors!
Today is a bright day filled with hope that Spring in coming. It has come in with a vengeance. Cold weather, lower than normal temperatures, and snow have hit us hard. Along with that today’s sunshine gives us hope of warmer days ahead. Our plants want to grow and we are ready to see them sprout.
As I walked outside with Rosy today, I noticed how carefully she proceeded out the door. Beyond the door was a sheet of ice that could take anyone of us down to their knees. She has learned that dashing outside can be dangerous. She has slipped too. So as she walked into the snow covered grassy area, I retreated to get the salt container. I sprinkled the salt pellets on the walkway. I hope it is the last time we need it this year. The forecasters yesterday evening gave us hope for sunnier days this next week. I couldn’t be more grateful for their predictions.
Then when I got to work, I encountered the same glassy surface as I stepped outside of the car. Once again, I got into the suite and exited with salt for the area where I park and sprinkled a coating around the car doors. So what does this have to do with being a wellness warrior?
Mentally we are making conscious and unconscious decisions all day. We wake up and all have our ways of getting out of bed and moving ahead. For people like Mel Robbins, she uses her 5 Second Rule to navigate forward. 5,4,3,2,1, and move! For me, I stretch and wake up with a prayer I was taught by a High School Religion teacher, Dr. Finer.
We decide to bathe, answer the doorbell, or put on the coffee pot. We may toss on old clothes to take the dog outside, or begin waking up the kids for school. Our schedules, routines, and age all contribute to the decisions and timing we decide upon each and every day. For me, putting down salt for a spur of the moment decision based on being practical and safe. For you, it might be to call a dentist, because you’ve been putting it off. So what is it you need to do today?
I like to think that being well means taking small actions on a continual basis. We follow our instincts and training to call our family members and stay connected to essential people. Wellness and keeping focused on what we are doing is a series of small ongoing choices. Choices we make all day from the moment we pop out of bed.
Today be you own wellness warrior and think about your moment-to-moment decisions. Are you reaching for a jacket or running out the door without a coat? Are you having something warm like coffee, but then having a good breakfast following? Are you watching the drivers around you or on your cell phone? Guess it is time to decide.
Clearing the Cobwebs is not only a functional activity to do physically, but it is also advantageous psychologically. Moving and actively doing physical actions helps us to think more clearly. We manifest and find clarity. We understand ourselves better. Things are more apparent. Feelings, ideas, and impulses are sorted out.
So what triggered this blog? Well I came into the office with my list of things to accomplish. Many items needed my attention. In addition to seeing clients on a regular basis, I try to offer concrete ideas and help to those who read my blogs and work with me as a coach online. I noticed a cobweb in the corner of a window and set out to remove it.
Within a few minutes I had linked up with Mr. Clean, a bucket, mop, and an hour of my time to tackle Spring Cleaning! I washed the tops of all the doors and frames, the floorboards, floors, and window frames. Soon the floors were washed and vacuumed. I even removed the books from the bookcase and cleaned underneath and around it. It felt good to discover after an hour of intense work, that the whole office was shining and smelled so clean.
When I had finished, I went to the computer to work on Quickbooks, return E-Mails, and make a few contacts. I felt as refreshed and ready as the office was now even more ready to be receive guests here. I was able to assist others with their issues. Clarity and a clean perspective helps everyone. Clearing out space for new thoughts begins with a clean space, an empty drawer, or a blank wall. It gives one space to create something new.
With the recent snowstorms and cloudy weather, I was feeling unproductive and focusing on one thing at a time was difficult. Now I displaced the weather, with being in control and moving ahead with the importance of serving other people and preparing things around me. You can too. It doesn’t mean you have to do “Spring Cleaning”, to find vision, but it means that there are many different ways for you to advance.
Maybe it is physically getting up from your desk and taking a walk to the mailbox. Or perhaps it is setting up an impromptu meeting with a person you need to connect with today. Moving and conquering tasks can take on many forms; be creative and you’ll find what works best for you. Often the office is cleaned by a service, but today was different. I felt compelled to do it myself and to do it well. I was clearing the way to achieve more.
Take that one step forward, it can put you on the escalator of success. Maybe it is literally a stair master machine to give you vision upward. Or pulling out that mop and pail that does the trick to a cleaner mind. Find what works for you and be creative in what you chose to do. Not everyone fits into a simple formula. You are unique and special. Let your light shine. I know now that the prism in the front window can shine as well.
Linda is has a background in Education, Psychotherapy and is a Organizational Coach that helps Business Owners, Community Leaders, and everyone excel and move ahead. Don’t stay depressed, anxious, or alone. Contact her now, you’ll be glad you did!
Monday mornings can be your friend if you decide to let it be! A long time ago, I decided to take Monday off as my formal day to catch up. I find it really refreshing to make a list of all the emergency type projects and things I want to do. I put something I want to do like getting to an early Mass in the first slot of the day and after things seem to flow.
Well Saturday of this past week was Holy Saturday. I worked the morning seeing patients in the office. After leaving for the day, I got in the car and was about a mile away when I reached for my cell phone. It wasn’t there, so I turned around to go back to the office. When I got there I began to check my desk, the kitchen near the coffee pot, and decided to check the mechanical room. I had put an empty water jug in there earlier and thought perhaps I laid it on the furnace.
As I opened the door I heard running water and to my surprise saw it running down the side of the wall. Opps, looks like the hot water heater was overflowing. I ran for a chair; it was over my head. I had to shut off the electric and turn the water valve off.
With a little sponge and some rags, I cleaned up the residual mess and left the rest. It was a good thing I came into the office to look for the phone. I also made 2 calls to make sure I did the right thing to keep any further damage from happening. With that accomplished, I thought this whole project could hold until Monday morning.
Thankfully, it was able to sit until today when I called for a repair service to fix it. So this Monday wasn’t a disaster waiting to happen. As a matter of fact, it is early afternoon and I have only a few more things to accomplish. I guess we need to look for all the things that go right when we think they will go wrong. It is important to keep a positive and thankful viewpoint.
So how does this help you? Faulty thinking and the feeling of doom doesn’t have to happen. Whether it is a Monday Morning or any other modern day thought that is contrary to being joyful, we can decide to make things happy. Flip your thinking around to serve you better. Try new things and you’ll find solutions start popping up for you. Hope your Monday mornings are forever beautiful adventures.
The funny thing was I had my phone with me in my brief case all along. I think there was some divine intervention there. A mini miracle from a minor moment last Saturday saved me!
Leadership can be hard! I was reading an article in *Scientific American Mind about a student from Brown University who in 1984 was studying in Israel. He and two friends were walking while on a camping trip and he was ahead of them. Suddenly he was minus a foot! He stepped on a land mine. Leadership can be hard and in this case, it really was painful! It takes stamina and a great mindset to move forward when accidents happen. Or when one loses money on a business idea it can be difficult to bounce back.
A few thoughts came to me as I read this article. The first was that stepping out ahead of the others is a daring adventure. Leaders put themselves in a position of being risk takers. Secondly, when confronted with adversity, people are forced to be resilient and push themselves to move forward, even if they think they cannot. Thirdly, good leadership is always available to find through referrals and mentors.
If you are an active business owner, you are often we are watching high achievers in business. High achievers who risk putting their own reputation and safety out there for others to follow. And we do follow them, because we don’t want to reinvent the wheel. We see how someone has accomplished what we are striving to do and we try to duplicate the format. We look at the system that has propelled them forward and we go to them for success.
Unfortunately, we don’t see all the obstacles they’ve endured. When I watch the Olympics, one of the best parts of it for me is hearing the stories of how the athletes have come to succeed. Quite often they have endured many injuries, personal set backs, or losses. It is great to hear their interviews. Most of the time they take responsibility for the risks they take and move ahead. They do not give up. They get up over and over again.
I am watching a grandson now who is an excellent soccer player and wrestler. In a tournament game, he injured his ACL, LCL, and Meniscus. These are major injuries that needed surgery. He presented to a surgery center that works with a professional team in Chicago to have the repairs. He will be undergoing 8 months plus of therapy to get back into the sport of soccer that he loves. The injury has temporarily changed his pathway to going into college sports for the next year. It has not deterred him, but strengthened his resolve to move forward.
As the author of Erasing Adversity, I say that adversity can make us stronger. It isn’t the experience of success or failure that makes us; it is what we take from the experience that gives us personality and value. Experience alone can sour people, but keeping a healthy mindset and determinations to reach a goal is the secret.
It amazes me how well some people are able to overcome problems. As a counselor and educator I’ve learned not only through my own experiences, but vicariously from other people. The ability to focus on one thing at a time helps. We need to keep things simple. The next time you are feeling stuck or frustrated, take a simple task and complete it. Maybe it’s cleaning out the dishwasher or sweeping the garage floor. Do it and finish the project. A simple task completed well will help you break the cycle of inaction. Create your own healthy system made our of habits to conquer a problem head on!
Another thing that one can do to be successful is to engage with others. Social isolation is unhealthy. Although not everyone is Mr. or Mrs. Congeniality, having purposeful tasks and relationships compel us to be better. We tend to dress the part, take responsibility and smile more when things are going well, but good leadership is open, humble, and honest. We learn to trust people and socialize. In doing so we contribute to the lives of other people; we volunteer; we share and give away our talents.
*Special Collectors Edition Scientific American Mind Spring 2018
Aging gives us opportunities to stretch. Aging is not all good, nor bad. Whether you are 18, 45, or 62, try something new. Participating in something new can be great fun!
Women often find that as their children grow, their opportunities do too. Opportunities to try new things open up. A spectrum of interests seem to open up. Line up meetings with local entrepreneurs and people you admire. Connect with old friends and make new ones on social media or at church.
Our children, who we spent years encouraging, come around as inspirational leaders for us. Now is the time to open the shutters to the window of adventure. Perhaps a career in nursing, journalism, real estate, or surfacing a past interest pushes one out of the homemaker role. Learn along with your kids, friends, spouse, or neighbors to try new things.
Keep involved with your own generation, but also other generations. My mother-in-law lived a long healthy life. I attributed it to her gratitude and her mingling with neighbors of all ages. She deemed herself as the official welcome wagon lady who’d show up with a homemade treat and her phone number. She’d go to lunch with others and stay connected. She was always writing people notes and sending out birthday cards or cards of congratulations.
Let the advantages of time allow you to travel, read, and pursue hobbies. Connect with you local school boards, get involved in community businesses, or play bridge. Visit the large cities near where you live. So often the highlights in our lives are not far away.
Find your passions or create new interests that allow you to connect with other people. Trying something new can put you on the escalator of success!