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Welcome to Mini Miracles from Minor Moments where minor achievements may become big accomplishments. It is our small steps and daily habits can transform small issues into wonderfully wholesome and productive lives. It’s the wee little issue of being consistent that creates a problem for many of us. We start out with great intentions and fall by the wayside.
Good morning, this is Linda Gullo. And this is our 47th Podcast. Today we our topic is dealing with Stress! And yes, we all have it. Some refer the feelings associated with it as anxiety.
Mini Miracles from Minor Moments is designed to help you find insights about you! Our goal is to help you like yourself and love life. Every person I know is unique and that in itself is so cool. We are designed to engage differently with one another; to become the best at whatever you want to become. In our pursuit of independence and happiness though, we make foolish mistakes and can even cause our own stress. Think about that for a minute. YOU FIND YOUR SELF RUSHING AND SLIP—ending up with a broken leg. Or YOU FIND YOURSELF TEXTING AND DRIVING and miss the cutout on the expressway— it takes twice as long to back track. Or YOU RUSH OUT OF THE HOUSE — and forget the package you needed to mail.
It seems we create more stress for ourselves. Our behaviors no matter how small can backfire if we don’t slow down and recognize the value in small repeated and successful habits.
This week, I’ve been thinking a great deal about how we take on the problems of other people. Speaking for myself, it is easy to worry about other people when I truly care for them. With a family that has grown, life just seems to pile on worries. Many of us, including myself, cannot do anything to help others until they want the help.
The good old serenity prayer has been a help to so many of you. You know the one: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
When have you worried about someone? Is it your child’s behavior at school and the fear of having the teacher send home another note about their behavior? Is it about a spouse or loved one who has a bad habit like driving too fast? Is it about an addiction that someone close to you has; something like drinking alcohol or drugs?
People all around us are worrying and suffering, because of those family members or friends that they love. For me I have experienced that along the way with numerous issues. 28 years ago, my spouses injuries following an accident were life threatening. It wasn’t in his control or my own that things happened or escalated like they did, but it was never-the-less, a situation that created stress for both of us and our children. It was ongoing and seemed at one point to just multiply. That is when I recognized that taking one thing at a time and one day at a time made so much sense. Little things began to resolve themselves and bigger things cleared up.
You’d think one would figure out the process for dealing with issues around us, but that is what life is all about. One gets one thing resolved and another one pops up.
I work with individuals as a Counselor and with people in business to help them deal with Transitional issues when things seem to attack. Everyone is entitled to have this care, but we need to give themselves the permission to receive it!
Progress comes in increments and it’s something we need to recognize. I am blessed with several good friends who are in the practice of counseling and coaching. I am the first to ask for help, because there are so many things to learn and no one is exempt from these transitional issues until we die.
I may not have children of school age like you do or a spouse who is addicted to sex, alcohol, or some other life endangering issues, but lately I have seen myself fall into the trap of being concerned about my grandchildren.
I do feel it is our responsibility as adults to be there for one another, for aging parents, and the next generations regardless of whether they are related or not.
Some parents tell me they love to have there kids home in the summertime. They don’t have to worry about the school issues or the teachers they don’t like. On the other hand they put their children in every camp, day program, or activity to keep them out of the home. We are all in fact, the first teachers of our children from the time they are born. We are the ones who need to help them and guide them along. When they make poor decisions, we may not be able to change the circumstances, but we need to be honest with them and ourselves and guiding them.
Last week I discussed the idea of a memory stone. Each stone represents an experience one writes down. It is to recognize something that changed our path or redirected us into a different way of thinking. I challenged my listeners to think about analyzing their own paths.
In a conversation with another therapist and friend, we began to recount our own paths and the people who impressed us. Or did not help because of their own selfishness. Relationships are very important, but they are fragile. We all need to recognize and see that we make a choice to either do nothing about things or fight for the things we believe in. We can still do that in terms of being kind. but firm.
I was looking at this photo taken by me years ago and thought of all the different people living in a Metropolitan area. Each has their own set of issues. Some people are highly motivated, achievers, and fast paced people.
Others stand atop the buildings and take in all there is around them, but don’t engage as being a “worker-bee”.
Still others are lazy and can’t get themselves into the shower each day, yet alone being productive and insightful for others. It is what they have learned as acceptable whether they are from a family of achievers or not. Something or someone has rewritten their biological script.
That is still a very hard premise for me to take in when I see the potential people have and don’t develop. Eventually they come around to changing, but how will their baggage affect them? How does it affect you?
So here are a few suggestions for you:
1- Transform your year for yourself and those around you! It is still only March.
2- Pursue your dreams and continually set new goals for yourself. Use the serenity prayer as a guide for yourself.
3- Find a confidante, a coach, or a loyal friend and talk things through. Listen and hear yourself say what you are thinking.
4- Create a space for self development and take the opportunity to forgive, dance, and live fully.
5- Stay fully alive and engaged in new sports, learn new skills, and do the day-to-day chores that will keep you and your home in tip top shape.
6- Relinquish worry by taking action and being grateful. We can all do that.
Years ago on a trip to Warsaw, Poland the guide was telling us of the destruction of that city during the WWII. Following it people literally picked up shovels and began to remove the concrete debris and piles of rubbish. Small steps to rebuild are often seen after tornados pass or acts of nature create destruction. It is the will of resilient men and women who rebuild day after day, often doing things they thought they’d never have to do. Seeing the city completely revamped and vibrant was a tribute to the generations that had lived before I was there.
Regardless of what your worries are right now, know they will pass and that this doesn’t have to be your tomorrow. Have a great weekend and week ahead as you step forward. Remember that a “single step may put you on the escalator of success!” Have a great weekend and I will see you next week.