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Good morning, this is Linda Gullo. Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you!
Welcome to Mini Miracles from Minor Moments where small achievements may become big accomplishments. Our small steps and daily habits can still take us to far away places and help us meet success by repeating them.
Hopefully, here, at Mini Miracles from Minor Moments you will find an insight about yourself. My plan is to help you like yourself and love life. It is meant to help you recognize the gifts you have been given and that they are meant to be enjoyed. We all have gifts and until someone or some experience shows us, we often miss seeing them. Instead we get caught up seeing our less admirable behaviors.
This week I’ve been thinking a great deal about the relationships that each of us is blessed with--Our wonderful family members and friends that are presented to us during different times in life.
So let the stories begin. The first is about my mother. She died some 35 years years ago, but Sunday’s were her day to shine. She loved having dinner for the family. We all knew it would be served at 1 o’clock and like a magnet we were drawn home. Even though our kitchen was small, the meals that came out of it were simply delicious, tasty, and fabulous. As a teenager my first use of the car was to go get Grandma from her apartment and bring her home to have dinner with us. She always came to be with us on Sundays and usually came with a shopping bag of fresh fruit from the fruit market. She’d also have things for each of us and her crocheting to keep her busy.
Mother’s old stove would have been turned on after the morning church service. The oven was filled with a roast, casserole, beans, or specialty. On top, the burners had vegetables and side dishes steaming. Mom always cooked plenty so we’d have dinners and lunches for the following days. She might have made a cake or pie earlier or jello was the dessert. My husband, who I was dating in college would come in and affectionately hug my mom. They had a great alliance early on and Sunday dinners seemed to connect them even more. He’d begin by guessing what we were having for dinner by the wonderful aroma from the kitchen. He was usually “right on”, My mom enjoyed this guessing game until the year when she got a new stove. The oven was sealed so well that those beautiful cooking smells weren’t flooding through the house like they used to do. She also missed the warming pilot lights were the bread would be rising or the garlic butter melting. That change made the game less fun.
Progress in sealing the ovens was good in some respects, but it changed the family dynamics. And I have noticed and perhaps you have also that with every new and improved appliance, phone, or car, some things that we really like are lost.
I am thinking of all the digital marketing, photography, and social media, in how we instantly connect with one another. It has it ups and downs. We may be seeing more photos and expressing the momentary highlights or complaints on Facebook, but doing business, exchanging quotes online, and sending out a quick thank you in the form of texts have somehow disconnected us. There is a loss in the personal aspects our generations once had. I am thinking of the “day long picnics” and going to show as a group–these provided us with great joy. We talk all week about the silly joke or the bird that landed on the table as we put out the food.
The intent of thinking about one another is a fleeting thought. It is so unlike the thoughtfully written out Birthday card or lovely note to someone recovering from an illness. We don’t engage in the conversations we once did over a cup of coffee– where one could feel the emotions of them getting the job. Or sharing the sadness over the death of a family pet. Their is a joy that comes from the spontaneous laughter and banter that goes on when people are together. We see one another’s body language and can feel when they are passionate about their hobby or limping due to a fall.
Recently I was introduced to the idea of a memory stone. Each stone represents an experience one writes down. It is to recognize something that changed our path or redirected us into a different way of thinking. Ironically the really significant moments for me were surprisingly selective and few, but they included another person, who in some way helped me find direction.
I challenge you today to start creating a MEMORY STONE MOMENT. It is something that moved you forward and helped make you the person you are today. The second part of the challenge is to be part of someone else’s memory stone. Will you be serving as a mentor for a neighbor? Perhaps a relevant person in the community food pantry? What do you do that might impact someone else?
When I was in College, I worked one summer with a lady who was always so tidy and appropriate in the way she dressed. I suspect she was in her late 30’s, quick witted, and very professional. She taught me to use a switchboard which had many incoming and outgoing calls throughout the day. It was an international business and so calls needed to have the times and details noted. It had a plug in arrangement to learn well. She had a system in place that obviously she had designed. It worked well and she was an excellent teacher insisting that no step be missed.
I found out the reason was that each step was needed especially when multiple lines began ringing all at once. And they did quite often. In our time together, she shared she had a stroke when her children were small. They actually helped her learn to speak and read again. They helped her walk and get her strength back.
Her witness to me was undeniably a witness of endurance and resilience. She had fortitude and a character of strength. It was pretty impressive for me to see first hand. I am really sorry that I lost touch with her after that summer. She made a real mark on me seeing that could have been a permanent setback was not one for her. She was able to stay steady in the midst of numerous phone calls because she had also learned to pace herself and prioritize well.
The relationship with her 2 children had to be really close after going through the learning phase in reverse with them.
Relationships are very important. We all need to recognize and see that during these technological times. Are you able to balance the time with family without losing them? So many older people I know are not into their smart phones or computers. They find themselves feeling really lonely at family times. I wonder now how different it would have been at those Sunday dinners if we had all marched in texting others or watching the sports on them. There wouldn’t have been the silly conversations or card games after dinner. We would have been disconnected while being together.
Another thought hit me as I was outlining this Podcast. It was of a lady who I had met via the telephone. She would answer the telephone at a church. Whenever I’d call she would engage in thoughtful conversation with me and often take down my message. Her voice was upbeat and cheerful and very polite! I hope I was the same to her. Years afterwards, I learned she was bedridden with a disease that had disabled her. Wow to have such a wonderful attitude in spite of her own situation. My point being that we often don’t know what others are going through if we don’t engage on a personal one-on-one level.
My mother’s uncles owned a farm in North Judson, Indiana. We would often go there for 4 day Holidays to visit. All the cousins were bunked on blankets lined up on the floor while the adults got the cots and beds. We’d giggle as kids often do and listen to the country sounds. The trains entering town, the morning owls, and the morning roosters were more than just something we read about in books. It was real. And so were the sounds of rain and the dirty feet from running barefoot. Our shoes, if we wore them, had to be shook out because they’d be full of sand. Our moms were always sweeping the floors in the morning after breakfast so the linoleum floors didn’t scuff up so fast. Being involved as an extended family was fun and created close relationships during that generation.
Today I have shared several short stories about relationships with my own family and acquaintances. I challenge you to do the same. Maybe it was on a vacation where you learned about some friends? or a gathering for a toddler’s birthday? A wedding of a neighbor who is close to you?
Transform your year! It is still only March. Pursue your dreams and continually set new goals for yourself. Have a great weekend and week ahead as you step forward. Remember that a “single step may put you on the escalator of success!” Have a great weekend and I will see you then.