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Hello Friends! Welcome to Mini Miracle from Minor Moments. This is your host Linda Gullo. I treasure the small things in life, the encounters with people, and even the struggles that often bring us insight. Each week I bring you a theme and thought provoking stories for these 10 to 15 minute episodes. They are based on simple ideas with upbeat and hopeful encouraging tidbits for you to take along. You can contact me through the website, www.lindagullo.com Please note that gullo is spelled g-u-l-l-o
How do you escape when things get overwhelming and confusing? Hopefully here at Mini Miracles from Minor Moments, you’ll find insights and knowledge about yourself and hopefully some mentoring moments. My plan is to help you like yourself and recognize the gifts you have been given. We all have them and until someone or some experience shows us, we often miss seeing them. Please take away insights that you can claim as being helpful.
Today’s topic is on perspective.
So how do you escape when things get overwhelming and confusing for you?
As a counselor, I am always hearing the heavy side of ones’ problems. People don’t usually come in with lots of good news. They come in to share struggles and they have questions. I don’t always have the answers, but often I can share tools for them to figure things out and reframe the issues. So today, I thought about discussing some of those ideas. Good conversations carry us forward and help us to reconcile problems.
I had a retired friend who had a Sunday ritual. After reading the newspaper, doing her morning Sudoku and attending church, she would go swimming and end up at the local Borders. There she would check out the books people had recommended to her. Usually they were books mentioned on the radio or from Oprah’s show that were being endorsed.
While she sat with a cup of tea, others started to gather and talk. Soon it was their own form of talking over the back fence—or at least that is what I saw it as. When the bookstore closed, it was not good.
The reason why some people can be more empathetic is because they have already experienced what you are experiencing now. When our children are in school, our interactions are with the parents of their friends. When our kids grow up either we find time with our spouses or join groups where new friendships can thrive.
As seniors, mobility and stamina are often lacking and the caretakers are too busy to help. We end up with lonely and sad senior citizens. It is important to reach out to these folks by inviting them to events and providing rides. Otherwise, where are these people going to find perspective? On the television, from the radio?
Over the years I have found different ways of dealing with stress for myself. Personally, I have grown, in that, I don’t isolate myself like I once did. We don’t need to feel embarrassed to share personal pain. I seemed to think I was the only one with misbehaving children, an injured spouse, or financial woes.
Mentally my filter to focus on the positive was getting lost as I dwelled on the negative. Thank goodness this flipped over fast for me, and realized that how I thought effected how I felt. In turn it effected how I was behaving. And that behavior was isolation. Yes, I was with people, but not sharing with them or letting them carry my pain.
As I learned later while in business, people didn’t tell the truth. I’d sincerely ask, “how is business?” I’d get back a positive answer and then find two months later their business was closed. Obviously they were too embarrassed. How sad that people aren’t congruent; emotions can spiral one into depression and destroy family units. They hadn’t learned yet, that others can help us carry our pain or better yet, show us how to get out of the situation. I could have helped them in several ways. Often we just need someone to walk through times of stress with us. Counseling is a great vehicle for doing that.
Praying, going out to lunch or sitting with my journal big help in filtering thoughts. I don’t think it used to be that way, but it has changed over the last 10 years.
I think our lives advance when we change the way we do things. We need to pick a bouquet of flowers, read a book, play with the dog, bake a cake, or walk through the local hardware store.
Shifting from one thing to another somehow brings clarity to our minds. Our attention spans help us to get work done. I can sit for long periods of time to work on projects, but then a break helps me escalate my thoughts into another direction.
Just think for a minute about the Jr High students who get up and move from class to class. There is great value in movement. Their attention span, often affected by hormones, is adapting and being prepared to move on from one subject to another. It will continue that way for the rest of their lives. Focusing, transitioning, and refocusing.
I really enjoy reading the blogs other people have written. They seem to offer opinions and articulate what I want to say and sometimes don’t. They discuss things I’d never talk about in writing. Sometimes it is because of what they do for a living, the politics they bring to a community, or the filter that they have because of their culture or traveling experiences. It is so valuable. Can you think of a person you know or work with that does that for you?
One of the things I am doing more often is heading to the magazine aisle and picking up magazines I normally do not read. I try to picture where the author is coming from and why the article is even written. Sometimes I think “wow, I was once there in how I thought and I moved!” Why didn’t I share that with other people?
And I think of my son, who once said, Mom you were the original Martha Stuart. He was right, I was into the cooking, creating, sewing, gardening, and home movement. I was a “Domestic Genius” because I truly enjoyed the art of staying home and being a wife and mom. I am so glad I did that and relished in it, because now I don’t have the reason to do that. And yes I could have made a fortune on it, but I didn’t even recognize the skills or value in myself. But it is okay. I am grateful I had the spouse who could then appreciate the cooking and baking. I had the kids who had the appetites and needed a landing place to be themselves. I kept the house cheery and me too!
Since then I have recognized that, Fall is “my season” to advance. It is also the time of the year I like to walk and move ahead in projects. I start making my lists and connecting with people I have longed to meet. I keep rebuilding my goals based on a realistic time table. What time of the year do you get stoked in? Is it January 1st when you set into motion new habits? Is it July 4th, when the summer cabin is brought to life? Find your best season and make it count!
Today, as I was thinking about this podcast, I heard a wonderful story. It fits in perfectly so I’ll share it with you. There was a toddler who spent the day with her grandparents. They took her to a daily mass in a church filled with lovely stained glass windows. After the service you could see the child dancing in the sunlight that streamed in from the windows. She was entertaining herself and enjoying it. She seemed radiant.
Later in the day when the mother returned, she asked the child. “What did you do today?”
The child replied, “I danced with the Saints today.”
Who are the Saints? the mother asked.
“They are the people who shed light on me.”
What a terrific answer and insight. My question for you is “Who are the people who shed light on you and give you perspective?” Is it time to dance in the sunlight of the saints around you?
Until next week, may you grow insights and love life. Bye for now.