Feeling Out of Place or Alone?

Years ago I was at an airport in South Korea.  A friend of mine was with me as we traveled back from Malaysia.   We were carrying a lamp and lamp shade in two different packages and wanted to check them for the next day.  With our limited Korean phrases we could not speak the language to explain our needs, so the packages stayed with us.  I must say the visit into the city for shopping and eating was quite an adventure.     I recall feeling terribly out of place and alone, even though, I was with someone.

Of course, one does not have to leave the country to feel alone.  We can be alone in our own communities.  We can feel alone in our schools, businesses, and families.  Being alone is an odd feeling and one we try to learn to overcome from birth.  I look around our community where there are senior citizens living by themselves or in nursing homes.  They are alone physically, but have immersed themselves into church groups or connected with extended family.  I applaud their skill and perseverance for connecting with other people.  It takes effort and risk to be vulnerable.Alone:out of place

So yesterday as I am running out of the office to pick up dinner, I see this bird standing near the highway.  I pause and click the photo.  I suspect there were others around, but not in my sight line.  There are several ponds nearby this part of town where they nest.

Even so, I thought about this bird being alone is very similar to each of us.   We begin as children to navigate the world.  People may pay attention to us and focus on us at one time and totally ignore us at other times. We may be one of a big family or an only child.   Either way, feeling alone may be something we learn to enjoy, but not day in and day out.

The “alone” feeling is one so many people share with me during counseling sessions and one I help them address.  I like to help others feel connected and to be happier. It is good to stay connected for safety, to stress less, and well being.

A few suggestions: 1- Pick up the phone and call someone from your past.  2- Take time to drop off a snack to a neighbor. 3- Get a dog, cat, or even birds for company.   The singing and tweeting of parakeets given to me by my daughter helped me through a difficult time many years ago.  They created a feeling calm and joy.  I had a purpose to get up each day and care for them. 4- Meet with a counselor and address some of your concerns.  5-Join a church group or a club.   6-Take up a hobby and connect with others who share your passion.  7- How about joining a health facility like the YMCA.  Every community has one. There is swimming, yoga, tennis, or other sports to draw us in.   Hope some of these suggestions help!

“Have a great day, smile, and keep moving forward,  Delight in Living”!