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Let me be your cheerleader!
Hello Friends! Welcome to Mini Miracles from Minor Moments. This is your host Linda Gullo. I treasure the small things in life, the encounters with people, and even the struggles that often bring us insight. Each week I bring you a theme and thought provoking stories for these 10 to 15 minute episodes. They are based on simple ideas with upbeat and hopeful encouraging tidbits for you to take along.
Life is short when we think in terms of history. Today I want to leave you with a few thoughts on what you can do for yourself. We are going to discuss feedback and self-talk. How do we receive it from others? What do we take in and leave out as people come into our lives? And how do we give it or play it forward? Self-talk can provide us with confidence and a feeling of worth. These are internal thoughts that can lead us forward into greatness or keep pushing us backwards. If they are upbeat and positive that is wonderful, but often they are not validating at all.
The greatest example of self talk that is done well comes when you watch the Olympics. These athletic people, are focused on executing their activity the best possible. There can be no doubt in their mind. We have even see injured people who set their mind on go and get it done.
If you were blessed with good role models that were encouraging, you may hear their voice cheering you on from the sidelines. I recently was eves dropping on two sisters in a playground. The younger one about 5 or 6 was hesitating to walk hand over hand on the overhead bars. The older sibling just said ready, go” and on she went at her own pace across the bars without stopping. As they approached the next obstacle which was a pole to slide down, there was a pause. The older sibling said–all right, ready, GO and down the child slid to the bottom. After each accomplishment on the playground, there was clapping to acknowledge a job well done. It is no surprise that this child is exceeding expectations in her adventures. That clapping will forever ring in that child’s head, as a form of approval and success. The sister set her up for success. We all need people to set us up. In my own life I have had two people who so to speak clapped for me.
My brother who was 5 years older never seemed to doubt my abilities. It helped that we were different personalities, had different interests and that the age between us acted as a buffer from keeping overly competitive. My mother was not well and as her energy dwindled, my brother was the one to come to my school events. I don’t think I recognized that until I was well into adulthood that he was the one who gave me confidence to try new things. Even when he entered the Air Force, and I didn’t see him so much, he’d send me postcards from his destinations. I think that imprinted the idea that traveling is so much fun and today I love the idea of going places.
Have you ever thought of how imprinting is done on your mind? As a sit here I think of Gross School in Brookfield, IL. I went there as a child and so did my brother. He was a science buff and already excelled in that at the 8th grade level. Science Fairs were big back then and he always had a number of projects. They eventually got him scholarships into an engineering school. But at this time, I remember as a 3rd grader, just following along and watching. I saw a cats skeleton up on the counter. Wow, that image is still vivid. I knew then I didn’t want to be a scientist, but I did like the idea of projects and science fairs.
I enjoyed being creative and always asked for projects to do when it came to birthdays and Christmas. I loved making things, reading books on how to do things, and then doing them. When it came to trying things, he’d stand back and let me be adventuresome. All the while I knew he was around for help if I needed it. He was the one who confirmed my accomplishments and bragged about me. He never seemed to doubt my abilities. That approval gave me confidence to try new things.
If you do have had negative imprinting that affects your internal dialogue, it is not too late to change your thinking. Wiping the slate board clean can take some work, but it is never to late to use self awareness as a tool for yourself. Our minds have the ability to blossom. Often it is just reframing our experiences and they become awesome.
In a book by Jeffrey Gitomer, called the Little Gold Book of YES, he encourages people to find, build and keep a YES attitude. There’s a great cartoon of a man who is visiting his doctor. He is sitting in his underwear on the examination table and asks the physician “Can you vaccinate me against negativity? Everybody at work seems to have the disease, and I’m afraid I’ll catch it.”
Wow YES indeed, sometimes the negative thinking of others is contagious. And that is the tape that plays in our head then when we try to do something positive. But, We can move our self talk from negative to positive.
Being aware of our thought patterns certainly will help. Here is a small exercise: Pick 3 words that people used to describe you. Make sure they ring as positive words for you. My first word came to me 20 years ago, when the Dean of a Graduate School program labeled me as LOYAL. I remember writing that word down and the quote he used. He quoted people who knew me and said that was a quality to hang onto. It certainly has been part of my personality. Even when I haven’t seen someone for years, when we do connect, I will still be there and rally them onward.
Since then other WORDS that have come into my way. I bank them up so they become imprinted in your mind. Using them in your self talk in a way that is motivating. Negative people are external, but your inner thoughts are internal thoughts and can be the most powerful! Now print these words on tags- put them on the computer at work, on your mirror, on the visor of your car. Remind yourself of these regularly and let them blossom into success for you.
I am not saying that it is easy to stay on track with internal dialogue, but it becomes easier with practice. When I notice I am slipping into the swamps with my thinking, I turn to prayer and other strong people to support me.
Watching what we say out loud also corresponds to what we are thinking inside. When our thought are negative them drain our energy, cause us to worry, and remove the potential fun of feeling successful.
I said earlier that my brother set me up for feeling good about myself. But I am very thankful to have married a man who gets the top billing. I am sure god has saved his life on many occasions so that he could demonstrate for me on how to succeed. His will to live, to come through paralysis, and many years of therapy have set an example of self talk. He never gives up. He works at his own pace, accepts himself as he is, and sets his own goals. His routines are healthy.
As I conclude today’s version of Mini Miracle Moments, I want to encourage you to take the vaccine that comes from knowing who you are and what you believe inside of yourself. Know you can go far, move mountains, and accomplish better things. Keep your insight sharp and the future bright. Think of me as that older sibling or mentor, who see no limits ahead of you. You have the potential to adopt that spirit of ready, go!
Until next week, stay true to yourself. Recognize the good people around you, the small joys that carry you forward, and the laughable moments. Bye for now and have a great week!