R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Lately it seems that the idea of respect has taken a leave of absence. I noticed it firsthand this week when I was about to cross to the parking lot outside of a store. I hesitated. Thank goodness, because the driver zoomed across in front of me. How is it that the pedestrian now has to wait for the car? Of course, I did wait or I might not be here. I said a prayer for him.
I began to think about the first time I felt a lack of respect for someone. I was already in my late 20’s. A businessman who worked with my father-in-law was curt. I remembered saying to my mother-in-law that he did not deserve my respect, because he had not earned it. He was a Narcissist and self serving. It was his way or the highway. He lacked social graces for sure. This was the first time I recognized and gave myself permission that I did not have to respect everyone.
That was really contrary to what I had been taught. I learned early in life to show respect to my parents, teachers, and adults. After all it was the 4th Commandment. I knew that following directions and earning privileges usually went hand-in-hand. Now I understand things more clearly. Often people who want power will run over everyone in their path.
When I was about 7, I sassed my mom back and she ran up a flight of stairs to set me straight. She slapped me across the cheek. It was the only time she ever needed to do that; I knew I deserved it. I had been disrespectful. My parents were kind, gentle spirited, and generous people. I knew they wanted the best for me. I had great respect for them, how they lived, and what they taught me.
Perhaps you have had experiences with people you admire that earned your respect and approval. Maybe you learned the opposite lesson from someone shallow and unkind.
Once as a teenager I said something unkind to my dad. I saw such disappointment on his face that I knew I was out of place. He didn’t say a word, but I knew. I am sure I apologized later. Both of my parents worked very hard to see that we had wonderful home life. I can’t ever remember having a power struggle with them.
Society, the European culture, and post WW II years taught us to be thrifty, take care of our things, and not be wasteful. We learned to eat what was on our plate even if we didn’t like it. It also taught me to have a respect for food and the money it cost.
I disliked milk from a wax carton, because the wax would sometimes surface in the glass. When I told my mom that was the reason, she strained it. When they could afford delivery, it came in glass bottles. That was just one way that I think my parents showed respect to me. There was a mutual love that evolved.
In business, we are drawn to people who conduct themselves well. I think good business people are mutually kind and respectful. They appreciate my time and I respect theirs as well! When I see people who are being offensive or rude, it is an immediate turn off. Thoughtful people, who put themselves last, usually get my vote and business too. They have learned to be humble along the journey.
It is easy to admire people who are reputable and attract others. My parents would say, “If you hang with kids who are in trouble, or lazy, or who don’t follow the rules, you’ll be labeled in a similar way!” The same principal that we teach our youth about hanging around with people who identify us goes into adulthood.
So my questions today are: “Who do you respect?” “Have they earned it?” “What values do you want to attain?” “Who will teach and exemplify these for you?”
May you find mini miracles among the friends you encounter! Have a wonderful day!