And How Do We Keep Our Balance?
Back in the 90’s when I taught High School, there were the annual Musical Productions. It included an outstanding cast of dedicated and talented students. Attending them became a chance to be with my daughter. We’d look forward to the singing and dancing. We relished the songs. The costumes were rich in feeling! The music left us on a high for days afterwards. Today one of my grandchildren has already taken a liking to these. She is at 5 in her second production.
One play that stood out to us was Fiddler on the Roof. The song Traditions still rings in my head often. It is a welcome “ear worm”! The play and its rich musical themes talked about eating, sleeping, working, dressing with modesty, and our family roles. It talked about knowing God and what He expects from us. It showed how the faith of the people carried them through the rich and lean times. It’s a great reason to bring children up with a faith that even though may seem tedious, keeps on giving!
I was fortune to be brought up in a family that had rich faith traditions. We lived by the season, fasted and feasted with the holidays. We gathered at my Aunt Addie’s and Uncle Emil’s for New Year’s Eve playing games and spent the night together. I loved winning a key chain, plastic rain bonnet, or a trinket from charades. My uncle worked as a buyer for a large company and received lots of neat things including dried fruits and rich candies and liquors. He shared them all. On New Year’s Day the 12-15 of us enjoyed church and a breakfast brunch together.
On weekends we’d include Grandma at our 1 o’clock Sunday dinners following church and classes. We’d often visit my dad’s siblings for a Saturday morning “hello” or sit with one another for a laugh over the Sunday cartoons. Weekends were for chores, shopping for food and clothes. and visiting.
We spent time at my Aunt Lu’s and Uncle Jack’s for Christmas Eve. We ate the fish, tomato aspect salad, the shrimp, and other foods, but began fasting for the Christmas Day Mass. My mother was in charge of Easter and Thanksgiving. The traditional hams, roasts, or turkeys were made with loving care. The fresh breads and pastries melted in our mouths. Conversations were charged with the things each person brought to the table. We ate certain foods that were traditional to the holiday. The smells were so good and the times together still resound in my mind. Most of those people who made those holidays so rich and nourishing are now deceased. They gave us the roots to stay healthy, confident, and balanced. What a great gift!
It has become the duty of my generation to create new ones, yet is has been hard. People now work on Sundays, the kids are in sports on Weekends, and distance splits families. For many families, they are apart in distance. The wholesome feelings that I grew up with are not there for so many people. I became aware of that in the 90’s when I volunteered for a Resale Shop. The holidays were sad for the elderly parent who lived in the family home alone. Their kids were either away or busy with something else. They’d come to work even when the store was closed, just to be with one another. They were lonely and broken hearted for the past. Many were older than I was and yet I felt for them.
The number one problem that I see on a daily basis is being lonely. Everyone is running around looking for balance. The traditions that once lifted us up and carried us forward, need to be recreated. We need to be inclusive again and not forget that there may be lonely aunts, uncles, cousins, and close neighbors spending the day alone. We need to gather together bringing food, games, and smiling faces. We need the embraces and times together.
There is an upside to all of this. It is that we can learn and begin new family traditions. When our children were young, my father-in-law, bless his heart, would take us all out to Red Lobster on Friday nights. It was all about being sociable and learning about one another over food. His Italian blood meant eating together was one the richest blessings is could pass forward. Our children learned that whoever sat next to Papa also got to taste whatever he ordered. They’d jockey for seats when they wanted more. Mangia!
Mini Miracles of joy and peace still pop up from family times. They are times from our past, even if our families are no longer with us that can help sustain us through difficult times. They are the memories from the older lady in church that liked our shoes or fussed about us. Hold on to the feelings, smells, colors, and beautiful times. Help spread the happiness in your heart to this generation by staying involved and genuine.
I have learned that being there for one another takes effort sometimes. We’d rather be alone or doing our own thing, but life is lonely enough and the effort pays big dividends. I love to be included and everyone I know does too. Gather together, take interest in one another. Eat together, go to church, play as a family. Drag out the badminton set or bocce balls (we do have them-lol), and toss a ball or play keep-away. Let’s help balance one another, and “Delight in Living”!